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[Nov. 4th, 2009|11:44 pm] |
friends, freedom, and self analyses. Three keys to happyness says epicurus.. i think.
I think productivity is also important. a sense of accomplishment. I think that is what makes me happy at least. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 3rd, 2009|02:32 pm] |
I am so happy with that party.
I hope it can happen again next year!
everything is sticky. I spilled a lot of it. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 31st, 2009|09:44 am] |
Been there, done that, messed around
Im having fun, don't put me down
I'll never let you sweep me off my feet. |
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| That hang over was uncalled for. |
[Aug. 1st, 2009|04:16 pm] |
I so didnt diserve this hangover. Maybe Im actually sick.
Woke up at 7:30, puked. bed. 8-puke, lie down in bathroom. 8:50 puke. 9:20 puke. Leave down town for stadium station, puke on those stairs before it. mind you, this isnt really puke at this point because there is nothing in me. Its come down to the mucus that once lined my stomach I believe. So I get on the sky train, even have a conversation with someone, transfer at commercial, and make it all the way to Gilmore.. Get off, carefully walk down the ridiculous amount of stairs out of the station, puke. Back on the next train, made it to lake city, down the stairs, puke. Some car drove away looking concerned. I think they guy they picked up appreciated I made it to an appropriate place to empty my stomach. Make it to lougheed, get in my car (thanks god i didnt have to bus), get every red light possible. Make it to snake hill, and had to pull into a cul de sac to puke on someones front lawn. Well, it was seperated from their house with trees, but their neighbor that went to walk they dog got a great shot of the college pro mini van with me on my knees dry heaving beside it. Then I made it home, puked twice more while trying to sleep, and finally slept until now. Still not feeling super hot, but maybe im jhust hungry.
It was weird, because I did not drink that much, had lots of water, felt fine when I went to bed.
Blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Worst-transitride-ever |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 24th, 2009|12:03 am] |
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I dont want to work anymore. FUCK. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 15th, 2009|01:57 pm] |
I dont want to go back to school next year.
I dont care about it, so i dont try, so why should i waste my time and money? |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 14th, 2009|12:08 pm] |
Batting practice with squirrels:
I had a dream there was another fucking squirrel in the house, and some how I got trapped in the basement with it, and it was an annnnnnngry violent one that kept trying to jump on us, so i was swinging two baseball bats around like nunchucks. I was like a ninja squirrel fighter, then i woke up. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 1st, 2009|05:40 pm] |
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I dont think people understand what i am saying. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 10th, 2009|10:48 pm] |
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1:06 3x3 cube. Current top time. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 8th, 2009|10:47 pm] |
I wonder if I am the only one who thinks of these things.
and truth be told I miss you, and truth be told im lying.
When you see my face hope it gives you hell hope it gives you hell. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 24th, 2009|12:42 am] |
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Why let problems bother you, just fix them |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 22nd, 2009|11:42 am] |
I had a dream where aliens were trying to take over. Actually, I ve had the same dream before. Only last time they accidently killed too many people so they left. This time they stuck to abducting. And all we had in defense was a giant fence with a lock. I tried to take pictures, but then I recalled in the last dream the first people they killed were the media people. And they had giant laser beams, and I was played jump rope with it basically because of course they were targeting me. And then they sorta brainwashed me. It was weird.
The we were having christmas eve bowling at grandmas :s but parking was a huge issuse, and the main course was red cabbage with sour cream, but there was not enough of it. So I grilled up some grilled cheese sandwiches for me and my dad, but she only had special holiday chedder thats was gingerbreadchedder and germanmustard chedder. It was weird man. The five pin bowling was pretty fun though =) |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 22nd, 2009|12:20 am] |
I'm safe
Up high
Nothing can touch me |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 18th, 2009|12:09 am] |
1) I dont think anyone understands where I am coming from in situations. I think a lot of people may try, and they think they know, but they never do. Its too complex to explain, but please understand its always with good intentions.
2) I dont want your sympathy. Ever. Its like pity to me. I want someone to listen, or to tell. I don't need more neutral opinions to try and appease me.
3) Im awkward. I don't know how to talk to people. But I force myself too. Because life is very lonely otherwise. Not only lonely, but empty. People provide opportunities. I must take the risk of being a fool in hopes of discovery.
4) I think I am a good person. I think I am a great person. I think this makes me arogant. I have my flaws, but dont we all? I try very hard to be the best I can.
5) My only goal in life is to provide a better life for my kids. I spend a lot of time freting about how to do this, and I hope my kids can focus on their lives and enjoy every moment of it.
6) I love meeting people, but I am not capable of making new friends. Boys, maybe. But I have not made friends with a girl since...Im going to say miki/kate. And the boys aren't really friends. I get along best with guys in relationships. No pressure, just chill.
7) I like my body. And sometimes I feel bad about it because of all the people who do not like theirs.
8) When I was little and could not sleep, my mom would tell me to count my blessings. And I would just cry for all the people who do not have what I have.
9) I wish I could interact with animals. I don't know how.
10) Death comforts me. Knowing (as well as anyone knows these things) that when its over, I will be gone. A great sense of relief. Nothing I will have done will matter to me. Guilt free. I want to die being able to say "I did good".
11) I hate goodbyes. I cannot handle them at all. Denial is my only meathod of coping. I wish we did not have to say goodbye. If all relationships were everlasting. Perhaps contact with people will be lost over years, but never ending. No goodbyes, just see you laters.
12) I feel like I am a bother to people. So I don't ask for help, or for someone to listen to me. It leaves me very upset a lot, but I would prefer to be upset than to be a bother.
13) I don't let anyone in because im a mess. You don't want to be in here. I don't want to be in here. Its hard to let someone into a place you don't want to be.
14) I hate bad attitudes. If you are somewhere, doing something, make the most of it. Don't sulk around bringing everyone else down. Smile, maybe you will have fun. You might as well, you are already there.
15) I like to push my comfort zone. It makes me awkward, and nervous, and frantic. But in the end I come away with one more thing I can do. Its not easy at all, but how else can you live?
16) Yah, Im competative. Thats what makes games/sports fun. No drive, no goal, no point. I resent my parents trying to smother my competative side. Maybe I could have done something with my life. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 13th, 2009|05:24 pm] |
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sleeping is contagious |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 11th, 2009|07:39 pm] |
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I met a boy last night who makes me nervous (a good nervous). Its refreshing. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 13th, 2008|10:37 pm] |
Why do all religions come back to judgement upon death? Even Buddhism!
I think this is my main trouble with religion. |
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| What ive learned today |
[Oct. 19th, 2008|09:50 pm] |
there is nothing on tv that is worth my time. Tv is only good for those on it.
and maybe the discovery channel. |
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